HangoverBeard.com is dedicated to making your face as bearded as humanly possible. We won’t STOP till every man, woman and child has a beard.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I purchase the Hangover Beard?
Just press the “Buy Now” button on the home page. You can pay using your paypal account or, if you don’t have one, any major credit card.
How long will it take for me to get my beard?
Your beard will arrive to you within a week. After the 20th, shipping charges will increase to make sure your face gets bearded in time to drink yourself into a Halloween stupor.
Will I receive a shipping confirmation?
Yes, you will receive an email when your wig is in the mail. If you have questions about your shipment, look to the question above or contact us at dancefat@gmail.com.
Do you ship outside the USA?
No. If you buy one from out of the country, your money will be returned. These are American beards, goddammit!
Is it made from real hair?
If by real hair you mean really great synthetic hair, then yes, you’d be correct.
How does the beard attach to my face?
It uses a strap that wraps around your head, so it fits all head sizes.
Will this beard make me into a one man wolfpack?
The odds are high.
Do you sell other Hangover items like sunglasses, shirts and baby holders?
Hells yes. Check out the OTHER FAT JESUS GEAR page or click here. You’ll find everything you could ever humanly want in your pursuit of becoming Fat Jesus.
Will this beard get me laid?
Yes. Next question.
I love the beard, but I don’t want to look like Zach Galifianakis. Can I use if for another outfit?
Absolutely. The beard is perfect if you’re trying to dress up like a hipster, a hobo or a hipster hobo. The beard will also make you look like a Greek god, The Dos Equis guy (in his prime) and a sexy lumberjack.
I already have a beard, why would I buy yours?
If you are already bearded, then congrat-ufuckin-lations! Some of us are not so lucky. But we must say, the thickness of our facial hair mane is such that the Guinness Book of World Records deemed it, “The Most Kick-Ass Beard Ever For Always”, an award we treasure. Also, you could always buy your other Alan Garner accessories here.
Can I sing “We’re the three best friends that anyone could have” song?
We encourage you to! The beard will actually attract more friends to you, most of them being hot, scantily-clad women.
I don’t like the shape of my beard, can I change it?
Definitely. Everyone enjoys their own beard styles and preferences. A pair of scissors and a detailed eye can do wonders. If you want to check out some beard styles, check this out.
IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS, EMAIL US AT DANCEFAT@GMAIL.COM
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Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
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